I HATE MY SELF

I think am gonna start doubting my self. Like, I hate my self. I don't really like out of my house for a long time. But, I like making friend tho, through internet. Hmmm... Am starting to stop coming to university. I dunno why, I just hate my self. It feels like I don't wanna make my self better. Although I really want it. Like, How could I don't wanna make my self better. I do really need motivation or am gonna kill my self. I am depressed. I don't know what to do with my life. Can't I just disappear???
I need someone or something that keep me motivated. But, I dunno what and how
Am afraid I can;t make my mom happy. But, my mind it;s doesn't work properly. Like, it will reject every time I wanna do something good. I really want to commit suicide or kill my self right now.

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