My wish part 2

God, I'm writing this not mean anything , but I just feel closer to You a few days. I felt alive, felt more meaningful to the touch and maybe it does touch. Feeling very, Soft :)Yes although you present it in a different way, a way that I think I explain it quite uncomfortable. I know what a struggle it is true, I know what is the real bite of rice. Ah, I feel understood all about life. Thank you...

God, can I tell You? Some days I feel a lot of fun, whether friends or family. But there are few things which I think is weird for me through. Some days I feel great pain. But I do not know what this is. Aargh, it really makes me sick, makes me feel the most vulnerable.

God, what do You want to add a little test for me anymore? Is it true that God?
I do not want to complain anymore. But, this is in a very different, I felt this was not the time to go through it all. Thank you, maybe it's a word that is very very suitable for everything You have given. Despite the pain, although it was miserable at the end of the story there are certainly wonderful things You want to convey.

God, it's weird that I feel like it because my doing alone. Every day try to open my eyes to keep awake only to lament all the mistakes that wasted a school just for fun no benefit.

Sometimes, I had it in my head ever imagined this. My head ached, very heavy. Sometimes my body like a wobbly legs could no longer rely, my memory seemed to disappear little by little, in fact I can not remember my own sister's birthday in last January, sometimes my vision seemed blurry. And it would always happen suddenly.

It felt very sick,God. What you really want to test my strength and survive as long as if I? I think it's a normal thing. Karna, I've experienced the same thing, and once I get through it. You can also see the Lord? Doctors have said that I got it is very improbable. But in reality? Thou art the Almighty.I tried to check their hospital a few days I think, in fact I was reluctant, afraid, ashamed. Somehow, as if all the circumstances are always pushing in the same direction. That is him again, called a doctor.

"Girl, you have you ever been through worse things than all of this. Farewell parents, cancer stage 2 in the lungs. Circumstances of life which I think is very excruciating. But you are a strong kid, I know that. In fact I always feel jealous, if it could be reborn I want to like you. You can still pull out a laugh in any situation and any heavy. I never think to take a stone, was wrong. You have a zest for life and a strong sense of gratitude. I could feel it from your simple smile." The doctor said.

Scared, worried, confused, feel surrendered. That's what I'm feeling right now. God, strengthen me. I'm still not ready to face this heavy. Sorry, not because I want to complain, but why should I again? It's too much I think.

Hold me for a moment God, strengthen me. Help me, get through this all. Make way for me to face this test.

What happens if Kanna El Balky knows? What happens if I have to bury the pain continuously and cover it with laughter? I want to heal. I want everything in its original state.

God, in your destiny and at the end of my story sure you prepare well for the laughter of the people around me do not you?I beg you, do not let them all feel regret later. Hold all their tears. And please pour in laughter.I love them all, keep them if I can not get past it all.God, I do not give up, I just surrendered. Because, there are still a lot of promise that should I keep.

For men who I love very after my father  and after Rival has passed away, the first person I had loved since I knew what a laugh together.Help me God. I'm sure they need me.I love my family, He, and all of my friends.Small tears indeed coloring things I write this. I'm sure you know what the meaning of this little cry.I surrendered my life over. And I submit to them.My request was that simple. Thanks God. For life is fun and full of twists. I'm very thankful.
I love you :)
And I love ....